Summer Self-Defense Offering

June 21, 2025: Beach Day support and planning. More information coming soon.

Remember Your Kiai - written May 29, 2025

Over the last few days, I have had the pleasure of traveling with my mother. Her profession as a flight attendant has given us a lifetime of experience in, and excitement for, world travel. This time, she acquired back-to-back work trips to Milan, Italy. Bookended by mother-daughter time and a paid-for hotel, I had two days to traipse through northwest Italy solo. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I was drawn to northern Italy's alpine lakes and mountain ranges. While there, a local teenager pinned their favorite swimming spot on my Google Map; where he spends his every Sunday. When I arrived, I realized I needed further direction. There was construction obscuring my path, and I was desperate to get in the water. Using my limited Italian vocabulary, "bagno" and "nuotare," I got my point across. A construction worker came to direct me. To my surprise, he began to lead me. 

In situations like this, I am starkly aware. Me, a solo traveling woman, in a new and relatively quiet context, being led by someone I do not know. I am calculated in my decision-making. I felt comfortable enough to continue. I was grateful.

We were walking between gorgeous stone villas, beside a glacial lake that reflected turquoise, with vines of flowers bringing pops of bold colors and scents in and out of the scene. It was beautiful. 

At some point, we began walking down a narrow corridor; flanked by a flowered fence and a stone wall. It seemed we must be getting close. I witnessed this person glance at his surroundings, and knew something was coming. He turned to me and commented, in very broken English, that I was beautiful. I responded saying thank you, and that the lake was beautiful. In the moments to follow, in this narrow corridor, this man tried to kiss me twice and cupped his hand on my butt (with wide and wandering fingers).  

I am grateful that I did not feel panic or anxiety. My nervous system stayed regulated. My outstretched arm and open palm created and maintained distance. I was direct and firm, saying "No." "Stop." As I walked away, I felt his hand on me. I caught his hand with my own, my grip controlling his hand, and said, "That Is Enough." I could feel the fire and earth of my own presence. He felt it, too, it seems. He stopped. 

I arrived to my destination and he left. My swim was refreshing. Surrounded by mountains and with clouds over my head, I thought, "In all of my years of travel, and my life full of living, I have never had someone think they could touch me like that."

While exiting, I saw him again. He kept his distance and waved.

This was a unique experience. It could have gone many different ways. Statistically, most assault cases occur within preexisting relationships. Regardless, this is what took place.

I decided to write to you to remind you: Practice using your voice. Use it firmly and do not let your conviction waver. Understand your own stress responses and develop tools that help you regulate quickly. Learn to slow down and respond. Train your reactions. Find a dojo, or a gym with a punching bag. Find a workshop. 

Remember, you hold immense power.

Kiai,

Shekinah-Glory